All
the brownie-lovers in the place say, “Yeah!”
Yeah!
All
the brownie-lovers in the place say “Hell Yeah”
Hell Yeah!
Now
somebody, anybody, every body….(I)scream!
Yes,
I’ve dared to mix my love for 80’s hip hop and my eternal appreciation for fudgie desserts. And I don't care for your eye rolls. I did it. It’s done.
Although I’ve had only minimal success introducing Albanian hipsters to the artistry of Run
DMC, LLCool J or the Sugar Hill Gang… I have introduced my counterparts, neighbors and
friends to the addictive qualities of BROWNIES.
Note: I have yet to discover an appropriate translation. The best I can do is tortë me çokollatë/chocolate cake. And let’s be perfectly clear here… there is a
significant difference between chocolate cake (which is something I do not
like) and brownies (in which I find the existence of God in each
bite.)
Back to the story.
I have now made three batches of brownies
in Albania and each time I’ve shared with my co-workers, boss and of
course the Mayor (a teacher’s pet never loses her touch.) Much to my delight, they all enjoy the chocolate
treats and shower me with compliments… that may be translated as “Wow, you MADE
these!?” Or “Delicious, I want another.” Or “Oh, such a good girl” That last
one may sound condescending to our American ears…but it is actually quite respectful
here in Albania
But then the guilt begins to creep in. After all, these accolades I am graciously accepting should actually be
credited to… Mr. Duncan Hines, et al. Po, eshte vertet/Yeah, that’s right. My delicious,
amazing, mouth-watering, perfect brownies come from a box! From a box…uh uh, I’m not a-shamed, a
box from a Kroger…I’m still getting paid! Reference to Digital Underground’s
Humpty Dance. (Yes. I did it again. It’s
done. Again.) I digress. So the thing is, I find ways to justify the
credit bestowed unto me.
I did risk a nasty
paper-cut opening the box.
I did correctly the amount of water and oil to add to the mix.
I did crack the two eggs flawlessly into the
batter pa/without eggshells.
I did stir
the mixture until smooth-ish.
I did
pre-heat the oven and grease the pan.
I did test for baking through with a toothpick.
Da-Yum - I’m exhausted! Of course I deserve some credit for all my hard work!
That is until that one troubling kerkese/request
from my warm-hearted, thoughtful and appreciative co-workers is spoken
aloud: “Can you give me the recipe?” Commence squirming. Packaged ANYTHING is pretty rare around
here. And many Albanian women take great
pride in their home-made embelsire/desserts.
How do I begin to explain the laziness that is bred in American
kitchens? (oh, not YOURS Paula Dean! Relax.)
How do I admit that I worked all of 5 minutes?
How do I tell them the best flavors of the
brownies have NOTHING to do with me?
It’s simple, I just say…”it’s a secret
family recipe.” :) A little trick shared from "Aunt Jess." And since my awesome vellai im i madh/big
brother is the one who sent the Duncan Hines boxes… its not a TOTAL
LIE! Thank you Duncan. Thank you Jess. And thank you Dunny!
Peace, Love and Licking the Spoon
PS. Yes, theoretically, brownies from scratch CAN be made here in Albania
*Coming soon: Smart
Mob Post with some kick-ass Apache-inspired Jumpin On It.
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